Dun Dun...Dun!

I finally met with Susan and she said that my idea was crap, not in those words though. I thought that the project was suppose to be about ourselves so I did it on wanting to get over my fear of public speaking but that wasn't what Susan wanted. She said I needed to impact my community and when she asked me I had no idea what I wanted to do. By coaching I wanted to teach the kids not only baseball but something greater. A life lesson. I want to show them that winning isn't everything and how to be good leaders, since we did go to a meeting thing last year at Susan's house and talk about that, and also that Pink book we had to read over the summer should be a perfect starting point in how I coach. But how to I make them learn what I want to teach them? Hoe do I know that everything I show them will really stick and that they will go through with it for the rest of their lives? I don't. And I've been thinking and kids now a days are more violent than they were back then. My little brother plays football for the park that I want to coach baseball at and there is a fight between the kids like every game. I think, am I really ready to handle all of that? What if the kids pick a fight with me? Help me figure out how to do this classmates and teachers. What should I do?

Failure! New Starting Point.

I got my proposal from Ray and didn't do so well. He said I wasn't specific but how can I if I haven't even narrowed down what I want to do. I'm not sure that I can even accomplish what I want to do. I want to coach a Little League team so that somehow that way I can slowly but surely lose my fear of public speaking. That's what I really want to accomplish with my project. But why does that matter? It matters to me, but I doubt anyone else cares about my problems. They will just call them like Andrew Prince says, "PP" which stands for a personal problem. It may be a personal problem but it's a pretty big problem. I'm not going to be successful in life if I'm scared. Fear conquers all those who allow for it and I don't want to be defeated. This should be an easy thing to accomplish but for me it isn't.

Previously I said that I wanted to focus on how children are getting more obese by the day but in reality that's not what I want to accomplish. Although that is a major problem, my fear is greater and needs immediate attention.

The Idea Process

I was talking to Elber not to long ago about what I really wanted to do for my senior project and he said anything as long as I had fun. That just made me more confused. He said that a good idea was to shadow a doctor. And I have asked my doctor and my dad's doctor if I could do that and they said they wouldn't mind at all. So now I'm split in between the two: coaching a little league baseball team or shadowing a doctor, which is what I want to be. Elber also mentioned that doing the latter would look better on my resume and colleges will think it's great. So when deciding should I choose fun or future? I'm more confused now than before I ever started thinking about the project.